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CARRIE’S FACE FAIL! • Overdone Underwood shocks worried fans
THE SKINNY ON PAULA!
KYLIE TARNISHING TIMOTHÉE’S OSCAR! • Turning him too tacky for winning big awards
NEWS FLASHES!
CHALAMET SIS HAS BILLIONS OF REASONS TO HATE KYLIE!
SUTTON CALLS THE SHOTS! • She’s the alpha in bond with love slave Hugh
REBA WON’T LET REX PUT A RING ON IT! • Gun-shy singer’s been there, done that
MICHAEL MOVIE WHITEWASH SCANDAL • Jacksons accused of rewriting history!
DIANA AND KATHERINE FINALLY FIND HARMONY!
BILLY RAY’S ACHY BREAKY FAMILY CRISIS! • Fears for his health as jealousy of Miley eats him alive
JACKSON IN GOOD SPIRITS OVER NEW BOOZE CAREER
STRAIGHT SHUTER!
THE LAUGH’S ON MADONNA! • Dirty comedy routine takes a nosedive
HASTA LA VISA! HARRY TEETERS ON EDGE OF EXILE • Immigration papers key to getting him deported for drugs
ANGIE’S OSCAR SNUB BLAME GAME! • Says Brad & Jen got H’wood to ice her out
RIHANNA BANKROLLS BEAU AS A$AP HITS ROCKY TIMES! • Spends wildly to keep him out of jail
JENNY FROM BEN’S BLOCK! • J.Lo eyes moving around the corner to keep love alive
JEN’S MESSIAH COMPLEX! • Pals fear burnout unless she tries a little self-care
OBAMA SPLIT FORCES A-LIST TO TAKE SIDES! • Pals prep for loyalty test
GOV’T UFO COVER-UP EXPOSED! • Whistleblower reveals secret program that harvests alien technology
GET YOUR OWN ENERGIZED BLUE DOT FREE!
CODE BREAKERS
CRISS CROSS
CELEBRITY SQUEEZE
O.J. HOUSE CLEANING! • Estate sues to boot son from squatting
WHAT KILLED ANNA NICOLE! • Uncanny link to death of her idol Marilyn
HANGOVER CURES FROM THE STARS! • Celebs offer tried & true tips for tipplers
CROSSWORD #7
H’WOOD SLEAZE ACCUSED IN DRUG KILLING OF 2 WOMEN • Mom of victim hopes he hangs!
WEED KILLER WHACKS BRAIN!
NEW TECHNIQUE ZAPS RADIATION SIDE EFFECTS!
ASK THE VET
ALEC’S CROCODILE TEARS! • Cries on cue in bid to win sympathy
HOLLYWOOD HOOKUPS!
YOUR HOROSCOPE • WHERE TO FIND MARIA Follow our astrologer, French Quarter Medium Maria Shaw, on Facebook. Visit mariashaw.com to sign up for her free newsletter, order your Lucky Money/Law of Abundance pouch, get your personal reading and more.
SPOT THE DIFFERENCES
BODY-BARING CHER MADE MACKIE BLUSH!
WORD SEARCH
RED Carpet
SAVE ON YOUR NEXT ISSUE!
DOMINOES
SUDOKU
CABBIE SLASHES SWIFTIE OVER MUSIC CHOICE!
ROUND RIDER SUES LYFT FOR FAT-SHAMING!
Answers
BIG-HEAD BALDY’S BAD HAIR DAY!