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CALVIN IN DECLINE! • Fears faltering fashion great is on last legs
BEYONCÉ’S HAD A BELLYFUL OF 50-LB WEIGHT GAIN!
DRY JENNINGS FEARS JOB LOSS TO JOLLY JOST! • Lower ratings show writing on the wall
NEWS FLASHES!
JESSE’S BAD JOKES BACKFIRE!
NO LAUGHS FOR KANYE ON SNL
WEST GOING SOUTH AS HE UPS THE CRAZY! • Rapper’s mad rants on Nazis go DEFCON 3
UNDERWOOD OVERDOES DEMANDS! • Tantrums over perks for her return to Idol
GROHL BEGS WIFE: MARRY ME AGAIN! • Trying to make up for affairs & love child
BRADY FLEES FROM SIGHT OF GISELE’S LOVELY LIFE! • Chucks $150M estate where her ghost lurks
ENTITLED ELLEN NEEDLING NEW UK NEIGHBORS! • Complain she made secret renos to $18M mansion
STRAIGHT SHUTER! • Visit Instagram @thenaughtygossip for more scoop!
FEARS FOR FALLON: U BOOZE, U LOSE! • Career pressures push him to the edge
BOSSES OUTFOX GRABBY GREG! • Curbing blowhard’s ego-driven demands
COSTNER DODGES BULLET! • Pities fool fiancé of ex-wife Christine
PALS PUSH ANGIE TO JUMP ON JONNY! • Want loveless star to try again with ex
DEMI GOING BUST! • Eye-popping rack reno pushes the limits
DENZEL LOST FOR WORDS! • Bit tongue so badly he can barely spit out Shakespearean lines!
COLT SCARED SKINNY! • Cardiac crisis makes him ditch junk food & lose 60 lbs
HOOKUPS!
BEING FAIRY GODFATHER NOT A DRAG FOR BARKLEY!
NATIONAL ENQUIRER
CODE BREAKERS
CRISS CROSS
CELEBRITY SQUEEZE
ALABAMA DOOMSDAY VIRUS! • Deadly new pathogen could cripple the world
KENNEDY MURDER SOLVED! • Hoover’s revenge hit on JFK exposed in secret FBI files after 62 years!
OLD STARS GET KICKS FROM REBOOTS! • Gellar is latest to mine past glories
CROSSWORD #9
DOGGIE KISSES CAN BE DEADLY!
BLOOD TEST SPEEDS ALS DIAGNOSIS
SAVE ON YOUR NEXT ISSUE!
WORD SEARCH
SKINNY CELEBS ON OZEMPIC TERRIFIED OF GOING BLIND! • Fear side effects but depend on weight-loss drug
CROSSWORD
CODE BREAKERS
SUDOKU
YOUR HOROSCOPE • WHERE TO FIND MARIA Follow our astrologer, French Quarter Medium Maria Shaw, on Facebook. Visit mariashaw.com to sign up for her free newsletter, order your Lucky Money/Law of Abundance pouch, get your personal reading and more.
SPOT THE DIFFERENCES • How good is your power of observation? See if you can find the 8 differences between these photos of actor and comedian Keegan-Michael Key in a commercial for Choice Hotels. You’ll need a keen eye and a sharp attention to detail.
NATIONAL ENQUIRER
BEARD OR BARE? • After Ben Affleck got raves for losing his facial hair, The ENQUIRER takes a look at other celebs who might look better less hirsute!
RED Carpet • THIS WEEK IN FASHION
DOMINOES
SUDOKU
DON JR’S IN THE SOUP FOR DEAD DUCK!
SOLUTION
OLD VOMIT IS NO GAG! • Fossil hunter finds pile of puke from dinosaur days